I’ve planned to review Burma Boating’s cruise around Mergui Archipelago in Myanmar in 1,000 words or less. Initially I’ve filled
Kasia, Piam and I sat in the open-air bar. Everybody leaned over the metal bucket filled with vodka, ice and a local variation of Red Bull. It was a local invention called “The Bucket”, which for the price of two or three beers, kicked amazingly better.
- Hey bro, you see that woman on the other side of the street? – asked Kasia.
- Which one? -
- The one with all the make-up, weird hair and black dress. She’s handing out some leaflets.-
- Ladyboy. -
- What? -
- Chick with dick. -
- What??? -
- Thailand’s ‘third’ sex -
- You’re messing with me. -
- I’m not. Go and see for yourself. -
- Maybe after one more bucket. Oh my God, she just put her dress up! She has nothing there. -
- What do you mean nothing? I told you she has a dick. -
- I mean that she didn’t have any underwear. -
- Aaaah, it’s possible. Go and see what the leaflets are about and we will see what’s happening. -
Two buckets later, Kasia stumbled back to bar holding two leaflets.
- So? – I asked.
- They’re having a show. It starts in 15 minutes and costs 100 baht. -
- Want to go? -
- Sure! -
We finished the bucket and moved bars to the one with the show. It happened to be a normal bar with a stage and chairs set up for the audience. We sat in the front row, ordered some drinks and waited anxiously for what was going to happen. To the beat of the disco music, ten transvestites arrived on stage. Sexy dresses, good bodies and cat-like movements left no illusions. These were women born in the bodies of men. Today, using hormonal therapies and surgery, they tried to fix the mistake of Mother Nature. The girls danced, mimed to the the most popular disco songs, including Shakira’s “Waka-Waka”, which was popular at this time due to the recent Football World Cup. One of the “women” was amazing. If it wasn’t for me fully-well knowing that there was something between her legs, she would have been one of the most beautiful women in the country. I couldn’t stop looking at her.
The drunken audience had a lot of fun shouting, singing and clapping their hands. One of the transvestites came to the front of the stage and asked for volunteers. Three buckets and a few more beers down, it didn’t take long for me to raise my hand. I ended up in the backstage changing room, full of costumes like from one of Broadway’s theatres. I bumped into “my beauty”.
- What’s your name? – I asked.
- Sara – she replied in a thick man’s voice. The dream died.
Another beautiful girl with a thick man’s voice helped me into a shiny, black dress with a red wig. Accompanied by two equally absurdly-dressed farangs we came to the stage dancing to “Waka-Waka”. We danced, had fun, behaved like idiots to the beat of the latest songs. The public couldn’t stop laughing, while Piam tried to take photos, removing tears of laughter from her face. I was totally drunk and didn’t care that if the photos ever saw the light of the day, my teaching career would be practically over. After the party, my sister and Piam took a few photos with the Chicks with Dicks.
The above text is a fragment of “Chapter 9: Chicks with Dicks” of my debut book titled: “This is Thailand: A story of love, sex, and betrayal in the tropics”.